The Search
by ShadowOfApate
Summary: Kerry discovers her birth mother is closer than she thought.
1. Chapter 1

Title: The Search Parts: 1/? Violence: mild references Sex: Uh, it's suggested, but it's all off screen. Rating: Pg-13 Pairings: KW/LK, EC/IC

Summary: Kerry finally finds out who her parents are, and along the way she finds love. I won't say anymore because half way through this part you'll have the whole thing figured out yourself...

Disclaimer: All characters belong to Warner Brothers studios, I'm only borrowing them, and they can have them back once I've finished. 

The grim winter snow was depressing under the soft haze of the night. A waste land of trash lined the battered streets surrounding the el. Violent shudders drove the sleep deprived doctor to sit at the bench, watching numbly as the long white bullet sped through the platform. Another came from the opposite direction slowing to a shaky stop. The doors opened with a hiss of steam not waiting for her to get on before sputtering back to life.

" Kerry?" The lean Croatian walked out of the dark shadowed recesses of the platform. His expression was softer than normal under the light mist of rain that started to fall. Her silence sending deep shivers through his war scarred body. He'd never seen her like this.

Dark circles painted her sunken eyes. White pale skin ghastly under the harsh light of the single street lamp below. " When was the last time you've slept?" A raw throaty voice barely carried over the wind, " I don't know anymore."

The platform vibrated slightly as the next train pulled to a stop. Damp red hair glistened with ice as Luka gently pulled her toward it. Sitting on the bench he tensed when she leaned into him heavily to tired to stay up on her own.

It had been years since he'd been so close to a women, and the soft whiff of African wildflower that was coming from her hair wasn't helping. " Wh-where do you live?" Kerry answered softly, " Over on Monte..."

" How come you haven't been sleeping?" Kerry yawned into his chest snuggling into his arms unconsciously. " Just a case of insomnia." Luka frowned, Kerry was a good liar but not when she was dead from lack of sleep.

Luka tightened his hold on Kerry guiding her out of the el. Her steps were slightly staggered but her eyes were still sharp. Each step seemed to take more and more out of her until Luka thought he'd have to carry her.

Kerry pulled away from his arms heading up the driveway of a well kept house. Sensing that she didn't want his help he stayed back watching her go inside. She paused closing the door, " Would you like some coffee or...?"

" No thank you, I should be going." Kerry nodded and softly closed the door. Glancing after her one last time he turned and began the short walk back to the el.

Elizabeth stared at her mother suspiciously, all evening Isabelle had been acting out with a false cheerfulness that barely covered the under lying nervousness. The surgeon pushed her now empty plate away, " What did you want to talk to me about?"

" Maybe we should..." Elizabeth's hard face made Isabelle trail off. " ...I've been searching for your sister for the last few months." Elizabeth choked violently on the wine she was swallowing. Isabelle leveled her eyes waiting silently for Elizabeth to stop coughing.

" What sister?" Elizabeth asked. " A year before you were born we had a baby girl, Christine. At the time we didn't want children so we went to Africa for the duration of the pregnancy. After she was born we gave her up for adoption."

" Why didn't you ever tell me?" Her mother forced a smile, " I just did." Elizabeth ignored her, suddenly feeling sick at her stomach. Unable to keep her now raging emotions down she started to pace furiously. " If you didn't want children than why have me?"

" By that time we'd decide that having a child might not be so bad." Elizabeth spun her anger surfacing, " And my sister? What about her?" Isabelle became solemn, " Like I said I've been searching for her." Elizabeth forced her anger down to a simmer and sat back down.

" And?" Isabelle took a large file from her purse, " This is all I can find on her. Apparently she was transferred to several different orphanages before she was finally adopted." Elizabeth took the file scanning it for the one piece of information she wanted. " it doesn't say where she is now."

" St Matthew's is faxing me her final adoption papers tomorrow."

Bright flashes of light shot through the darkened dorm room, brief glimpses of speeding shadows danced around the walls and floors. The smoke thick air rang out with the scared crying of the children, a baby wailing in the distant nursery.

The scared girl cradled her sobbing friend to her body protectively, determined to keep her from harm. The mobs cries became more frantic with each gun shot that rang out, and each glass that was shattered. She closed her eyes desperately as she listened to the downstairs doors busted open through the cheap wood floor.

" What ever happens stay here..." She climbed from under the bed cracking the door open. Staring out into the hall she saw the faceless men approaching, a terrified scream ripping from her...

Kerry bolted up still screaming, her sweat covered body shaking violently. Turning on the lamp, she laid back to wait out morning.

Elizabeth took the file from her mother impatiently, " She died almost two years ago." Closing her eyes all she could feel was rage and blame towards her mother. If she had kept Christine this never would have happened. Things would have been different.

" This is all your fault..." Elizabeth stared up at her mother surprised that she'd spoken out loud. Her mother turned away not denying or accepting it. The surgeon numbly watched her mother leave her office before turning back to the file. The only connection she had to a sister she'd never know.

Luka finally caught up with Kerry as she limped across the ambulance bay. All day she had avoided getting caught alone with him. He could understand her embarrassment, after all she was a strong woman who never let anyone see her otherwise. Normally he'd have respected her wises and kept his distance, but he was worried about her.

" Kerry..." Her steps faltered clearly looking for a way to just keep moving. Luka didn't want to give her the chance to escape again and jogged up to her. " I was wondering if you'd let me take you to dinner." Kerry finally looked up at him. " What?"

" It wouldn't be anything fancy but I know a small Italian place close to here." Luka wasn't sure what he was doing, he was acting on instinct alone. " I...I'd like that."

" But according to this..."

" Look Dr. Corday, during the week you're talking about we had a series of fires, and several riots. At that time we had three baby girls brought in. Your sister was one of them. In the aftermath of the fire the person in charge...a Janet Crane...mixed up their paper work. Now it's possible that the girl we've been referring to as Christine was actually one of the other two..."

" Alright, then can I get the other two girls records?"

" I'm afraid that isn't possible."

" But..."

" Those records are sealed and can not be released without the parents consent."

" But if one of them is my sister than..."

" Unless you can show me proof that she isn't your sister than there is nothing I can do. Good bye."

Elizabeth slammed the phone down. There had to be some way to prove that this girl wasn't her sister. ' Without a DNA test you can't.' She paused, ' DNA test...'

Luka took the last bite of his desert studying Kerry subtly. He had never really taken the time to notice what a beautiful woman she was. Then again he didn't ever take the time to notice any woman now. ' So why are you noticing now? '

Kerry meet his eyes and Luka suddenly understood why he was draw to her. She was his kindred spirit in a way. If he wanted to, he could show her his scars, and she wouldn't offer empty platitudes like everyone else. Instead he would find similar scars.

Her war may not have been with a country. It may have been against a single person, but it was still a war that had left her who she is. Reaching over he took her hand, needing to touch her, to feel her. Kerry smiled at him, " Let's get out of here..."

Luka got up slowly trying to hide his shaking legs. He was sure that she was only meaning that in an innocent way but there was this spark of hope that she didn't. Paying quickly he lead her out to his car. As he opened the passenger door for her he found himself inches away from her.

Letting his instincts take over he leaned down kissing her softly. In his mind he was prepared for her to push him away and scream at him. So when she deepened the kiss he nearly pulled back in surprise. Kerry smiled at him and climbed in silently.

' Good going you just ruined what ever chances you might have had with her.' Luka got in next to her trying to figure out the best way to apologize. Kerry glanced over at him, " I'm sorry if I mistook your invitation tonight."

Luka froze not sure she was really apologizing to him. " No it's just...I..." Kerry studied him with sudden understanding, " Luka if you don't want this just say so..." Luka started the car quickly and drove out of the parking lot. He wasn't about to say no to her. " I want this."

" Well?" Elizabeth hung up solemnly, " They've agreed to give us some hair to test." Isabelle handed her a cup of tea, " When can we get it tested?" Elizabeth walked away still refusing to look at her mother. " In the morning, the test should only take an hour or two."

" How long are you planning on staying angry with me?" Elizabeth glared over at her with more anger than she'd ever directed towards anybody, including Robert. " Until you can take back what you did. " Isabelle winced as her daughter stormed into her bedroom slamming the door.

Kerry rolled onto her stomach thankful that Luka followed, keeping his arms firmly wrapped around her. For some reason she felt safe and protected in his arms. A feeling she'd never experienced before tonight. " You want to tell me the real reason you can't sleep?"

" Not particularly." Luka smiled into her neck as he said quietly, " But you'll tell me anyway." Kerry sighed heavily, " I keep having...nightmares about the time I spent in the orphanages." Luka paused in his task of memorizing her neck and shoulders. " You're adopted?"

" I spent the first 14 years of my childhood being transferred from one orphanage to another." Kerry smiled to herself as he tightened his hold on her, " Do you know who your parents are?" Kerry felt her heart break in two at his question. She had searched for them desperately, " No. I've hired several P.I.'s but all they've done is crush my hopes"

" Kerry I went through the same thing after the war, trying to locate my wife and children. I must have been given false information a dozen times before I actually found them. But I never gave up because I had to know. Just like you."

" What makes you so sure I'm like that?" Luka answered quietly, " Because I wouldn't be here if you weren't...I know a guy who can help you." Kerry let her eyes drift closed feeling more easy about going to sleep than she had in a long time.


	2. Chapter 2

Title: The Search Parts: 2/? Violence: mild references Sex: Uh, it's suggested, but it's all off screen. Rating: Pg-13 Pairings: KW/LK

Summary: Kerry finally finds out who her parents are, and along the way she finds love. I won't say anymore because half way through this part you'll have the whole thing figured out yourself...

Notes: Thanks to Meghan Martain and Cimerene for Beta Reading for me.

Disclaimer: All characters belong to Warner Brothers studios, I'm only borrowing them, and they can have them back once I've finished.

Elizabeth watched paper after paper slide into the fax tray. The test had proven without a doubt that the dead woman wasn't her sister. The problem was figuring out which of the two other women was. The fax machine finally came to a stop and Elizabeth started to read them.

Laying the first few pages face down she paused, not believing what it read. " It isn't possible..." She frantically scanned the rest of the page, moving on to the next and the next until her mind froze up. She had no idea what she should do.

Luka wiped the name from the board, carefully watching the surgeon from the corner of his eyes. All day she had been staring at Kerry, dropping her eyes quickly whenever Kerry stared back. Kerry glared at her once, heading for the lounge.

Elizabeth threw down the chart she was pretending to read and started after her. Luka deliberately stepped into her path, not letting her by. " What's going on?" Elizabeth stared up at him harshly, " That is none of your business. Now will you kindly move out of my way?"

" I'm simply concerned about her." Elizabeth stepped closer to him lowering her voice dangerously, " You wouldn't understand..." Luka replied softly, " Give me a chance to."

Kerry listened to Luka enter the lounge. There was an air of solemnness about him that hadn't been there before. " Kerry you were exposed to a TB patient, so you need to be tested." Kerry sat the file down, she couldn't remember being exposed but the day had been a blur.

" I didn't realize I'd been exposed." Luka smiled, setting the small tray on the table. " He came in a few hours ago." Kerry shrugged off her lab coat, trusting his judgement.

Walking up to the desk Kerry noticed that it had been almost an hour since she'd let Luka draw her blood. " Carol did Luka ever get the labs on my blood back?"

Carol glanced over at her, " He never sent it up." She started to walk away pausing briefly, " ...I thought I saw him give a vial of blood to Elizabeth."

Kerry narrowed her eyes slightly, scanning the area for her newest lover. She wanted to have a few words with him.

During the period he'd been married Luka had learned that there were some things you just didn't do unless you wanted to end up sleeping on the sofa. He had learned that the hard way. He could still remember the small smile on his wife's lips when he'd come staggering home at four in the morning, his breath thick with drink.

His wife had spoken ever so sweetly, " If you want to stay out all night drinking like a commoner than you'll sleep like one to." She had tossed him a blanket then walked away. For seven days he had apologized to his wife, trying to point out that it had been his best friend' s birthday, and for seven nights she had kicked him out of their bedroom.

After that he'd sworn that he'd never do anything else that would result in his sleeping alone, and today for the first time in fifteen years he'd broken that promise. Trying to assure himself that Kerry wouldn't find out, he left the exam room.

" You mind telling me what Elizabeth wanted with my blood." Luka paused mid stride wincing at the false light voice that silently ordered his immediate confession. His mind went into over drive, the only coherent word making it through was stale.

" Do you mind if I get some coffee first?" Kerry's icy gaze never faltered under his warmest smile. ' Luka old boy when you step in it you dive in head first. '

Kerry stared at the rising numbers trying to decide who to kill first, Luka or Elizabeth. The fact that he was standing next to her looking like a child caught stealing cookies wasn't exactly helping either. Slamming the tip of her crutch down she marched out onto the third floor.

Rounding the corner, she spotted Elizabeth staring at a piece of paper in astonishment. " Are those the results?" Elizabeth was unable to respond simply handing the sheet to Kerry. The older woman slipped her glasses on and started to read.

Luka gently took the paper from her numb hands already knowing what it said but needing to see it for himself anyway. The results shouted out at him as Elizabeth broke the silence. " Kerry why don't you join me for dinner tonight...You can bring Luka if you want."

Kerry nodded hesitantly, afraid to speak. She had been searching for her biological family for as long as she could remember, and now...Thrusting the paper at the surgeon she hurriedly walked away.

Luka stayed right behind Kerry as they entered the apartment. The tension radiating from his lover was so thick he could barely breath. All evening she'd been acting almost manic depressive. Switching from pure rage to nervousness within seconds. In desperation he'd nearly locked himself in the bedroom.

Now she seemed to be stuck in between. Her eyes were stormy with barely controlled anger but her hands were shaking from her nerves. Taking a deep shuddering breath she managed to pull herself together, but Luka knew that the slightest thing would set her off.

Isabelle walked forward, hugging Kerry; she didn't seem to notice her discomfort as she started talking happily. " I'm so glad we finally found you." Isabelle held her at arm's length looking her over, " And to think that you're a doctor just like your sister."

" Uh why don't we sit down?" Elizabeth said nervously. Kerry backed away from her new found mother, taking a seat at the end of the couch. She stared at Isabelle wearily, " Why did you abandon me?"

Isabelle lost her cheerful attitude. " I didn't abandon you. We put you up for adoption, and from the look of it I'd say you had a very good up bringing."

Luka took Kerry's hand, wrapping his arm around her shoulders. He could feel her body winding tightly, " You're right, my childhood was a piece of cake. After all I only spent 14 years being thrown from orphanage to orphanage, being rejected by countless couples. I only witness hundreds of acts of civil disobedience."

" You were finally adopted?" Kerry gripped Luka's hand so tightly that he flinched. " Yes I was by an archeologist and an activist."

Isabelle tried to meet her eyes but couldn't, " And you were happy with them?" The harsh laughter that came from Kerry made her flinch. " As happy as I could be considering they only adopted me out of pity...Why did you put me up for adoption?"

" We weren't ready to have children." Kerry stared at her not seeing anyone else. " I see." Kerry stood up, and grabbed her coat.

" Christine..." She turned to her mother, " My name is Kerry, and as far as I'm concerned you made your choice 35 years ago."

Kerry walked out of the apartment glad for Luka's silent support. Getting into the elevator she watched Elizabeth jogging toward the closing doors. " Kerry..." Kerry rehit the button for the first floor, relieved when the doors shut. 

" You don't approve of how I handled it."

" I didn't say that."

" But you don't."

" I'm not sure. On one hand she isn't much of a mother. To give up such a...miracle because they weren't ready..."

Luka sat at the kitchen table trying to decide if he should make a run for it or not. Kerry was ideally chopping vegetables with the longest, sharpest knife he'd ever seen. The fact that a heavy rolling pin was laying at her elbow certainly didn't help.

" And the other hand?" Chop, chop, chop... " My family was taken from me violently, and I never even got a chance to say goodbye. You...you've been given a rare chance." Whomp, whomp, whomp...Kerry slammed the knife into the cutting board with frustration.

" I know...I just got so angry. I went through that hell because she didn't feel like having a child, and then she has Elizabeth less than a year later?"

" What are you going to do?"

" I don't know..."

" Kerry you can't punish Elizabeth for a mistake your mother made."

Kerry laid the knife down with deliberate gentleness. " I know..." Luka smiled sadly; he understood what she was going through. Even though she'd been searching for her family it was still a lot to adjust to, especially since part of her family turned out to be someone she already knew.

Elizabeth stared at the door as it opened. She knew it was late but she couldn't sleep until they'd talked. Kerry frowned slightly at her, looking slightly disgruntled in a simple light robe and pajamas. " I'm sorry, did I wake you?"

" No..." Kerry moved to the side, letting Elizabeth enter. Closing the door, Kerry led her into the living room. " ... I wasn't able to sleep."

Elizabeth nodded awkwardly, " Kerry I know how you feel about what our mother did..."

" No you don't." Elizabeth stared at her curiously as Kerry wearily sat down. " I always assumed that my mother was some teenager, but... there was always this doubt in the back of my mind that maybe she just didn't want me, and all of a sudden...I find out that I was right."

Elizabeth sat beside her slipped an arm around Kerry. " Kerry, I'm not asking you to accept her, but I am asking for a chance to be a part of your life."

Kerry clasped her hand, " I'd like that." Elizabeth hugged her. It wasn't a lot but it was a step in the right direction. 


End file.
